Firstly a couple of things I forgot to mention
1 throughout the entirety of my pregnancy I measured small for dates (I kept telling them they had my dates wrong) and was sent for extra growth scans and referrals and was terrified of my baby not being healthy
2 on that note nobody listens to you if I could go back now I’d be so different I’d really stand up for myself a lot more but I think the exhaustion takes over and you lose the will
3 since finding out I was pregnant I always referred to my baby as the skittle and it caught on (we still call him that now)
4 CONTRACTIONS on many occasions I asked professionals and mothers what they would feel like and how would I know when I was having them well here’s my tip TRUST NO ONE I was told they feel like ‘really bad period cramps’ well for one I’ve never had period pain in my life so that was about as useful as a chocolate fire guard. And two no no they don’t cramp and not in your abdomen. I was also told ‘oh you’ll just know’ well guess what … I didn’t! I was having them for days sporadically and they were bearable; that and the fact I just wrote them off as part of pregnancy pain a thing I’d gotten so used to it was just another pain on my list.
My Birth Story
I attended my induction at 6pm on 6th April 2014. Spent an hour sat on a bed alone doing nothing. Then I was hooked up to a monitor which tracks yours and the babies heartbeats and any contractions. I was having big contractions! I was just good at dealing with them. I was having back labour as my baby was still in the back to back position. Soon I felt them in my front too I can only describe them as feeling like a got tingly wave across your stomach but mostly like an electric shock. I was left for about three hours then a midwife came to examine me (the wrong patient might I add. My entire experience with nobles was very dis satisfactory). That sweep was the single most shockingly painful thing id ever endured in my life and I still to this day blame that for my ordeal. She didn’t even try to be considerate (imagine someone shoving their fist up your little hooha that hasn’t had so much as a tampon inserted for the best part of a year… Yeah exactly) my back was arching and I gripped the sheets, she made me bleed and the pain afterward lasted hours. I cried. I was told I wasn’t dilated at all so would have the first gel inserted “oh nothing will happen with you tonight we’ll do your second gel when you wake up”.
Oh how wrong she was….
At about 1am I woke up in pain so tried to walk it off around the ward and went to the loo. I was bleeding from my assault, sorry exam and thought teamed with my contractions this was just pain. Sorry this is tmi but I had a poo because I was in the toilet so long trying to cope with the pain and I’m so glad I did as pooing during delivery had always been one of my ultimate fears! I got back in bed but an hour later I was crying with pain so approached the desk I told them ‘this is definitely it I can’t take this pain’ to which I was told ‘no you’re not dilated get back in bed and someone will bring you some paracetamol’.
I couldn’t get back in bed I stood leaning on it crying my eyes out the pain was unbearable. When I eventually clambered back on I had to be examined again (oh great) the horrible midwife tried and couldn’t reach my cervix so a second doctor appeared to fist sorry examine me for the THIRD time (my poor vagina). I was told I was ‘1cm can stretch it to 2 if I try’. WHAT THE HELL?! 1 frigging cm my thought was if this is 1cm how can I possibly get to ten without dying?! They agreed I could have a shot of morphine as pain relief but I’d have to go back on the monitor. They both left me to get the anesthetist but when they returned they started panicking at my monitor and I felt a warm gushing I said ‘I’m really sorry but I think I’m wetting myself’ ‘no your waters have broken’ they told me.
My waters and the monitor showed that my baby was in distress and had done a poo and his heart rate dropped right off.
As I said above I blame that woman for literally making my son ‘sh*t himself’ and sending him into fetal distress. That alongside sending me back to bed numerous times as if I was a naughty child probably had a lot to do with the way my birth went.
The next thing I knew my bed was surrounded and they were running me through corridors pushing my bed through big double doors – it really was like something you see on the telly – and it was all happening so fast I was alone and scared.
(I forgot to mention at about 2am I began messaging my sister to try and distract from the pain telling her all about them ignoring me, at about 5 she asked if I wanted her to call my mum but I said no I didn’t want to disturb her. Luckily my sister did completely ignore me and called my mum.)
I vaguely remember someone putting circulation socks on me and dressing me in a robe while someone else told me they were rushing me to theatre for an emergency section and if be having an injection in my spine. The head obstetrician had also been called out. I think there were near ten professionals around my bed. Some consent forms on a clipboard appeared in front of my face and I was told to sign them quickly; my response was ” I’m going to die aren’t I and you don’t want my family to sue you” but I signed them anyway – well the pen made contact with the paper (I’d had the shot of morphine) – I repeatedly said “that’s not how I do my signature”. At that moment my mum came into the room I was so happy to see her, they started explaining to her that I was going into theatre and she could attend but all of a sudden everything seemed to change. My babies heart rate had picked up and I was told I could still deliver naturally. I was hooked up to a monitor and an IV and used gas and air only to cope with my painful contractions. The gas and air is a godsend! But to be honest I think it’s more of a distraction and something to focus on and keep you calm and regulated as apposed to actually blocking out the pain. At no point was I offered or asked for any other pain relief. At around 8am my midwife (kelly anne whose name I kept forgetting and calling Shona because she had the same Scottish accent as my friend) told me I was about 8/9 cm. I’d dilated really quickly. I kept apologising to her in between breaths and contractions for not making conversation! Honestly the things you come out with when in labour are crazy! I couldn’t stop blinking or keep my eyes open and kept saying green grass to my mum who had absolutely no idea what I was talking about! (An old character in itv drama heartbeat of all things – who blinked a lot!) looking back it must have been quite funny. And I promised I wouldn’t shout or swear. In my opinion you cannot prepare for giving birth my only advice would be don’t waste energy and when it comes to pushing push like you’re doing the biggest poo of your life – trust me it’s the most efficient way to get the job done – I was very in control of this mindset. My IV kept coming out so had to be put in two different veins. I was squeezing my mums hand so tight with one hand (she told me her wedding rings nearly broke her fingers but I wouldn’t let go) and holding my gas in the other while being given sips of lucozade – my lips dried out to the point they were peeling off. It was time to push. I was pushing for a long time. The feelings indescribable. But my baby was back to back and I was getting exhausted he just wasn’t coming. His head kept appearing but then sliding back up the fact of the matter was he was literally just too big for me to deliver. Normally you’d be sectioned in this case or at least given epidural but nope not little old me! A doctor was rushed in as my baby was once again becoming distressed in the birth canal and needed to be delivered. She started explaining to me she was going to make a cut I told her just do it without telling me I wanted my baby out now. She performed the episiotomy in order to fit a ventouse in; oh great an assisted delivery – what a mess there was blood everywhere lots of it, the place looked like a horror movie scene. Finally my little boy was born at 9.50 he started crying and was placed straight on me. It was the happiest most relieving moment of my life and my mum was so happy. It’s true that the pain just sort of instantly stops and goes away. Straight away they took him to the other side of the room for his obs and again there were quite a lot of people present. I made my mum continue holding my hand while the doctor delivered my placenta and stitched me – it was agony! I literally felt like a cushion I could feel every thread and just wanted to hold my son she told me ‘keep still and let me do a good job of this you’ll thank me one day’ to which I replied something whingy like just leave me open I don’t even care. Idiot. But that’s how I felt in the moment.
The head gyno appeared at my side and a midwife had hold of my son “oh he’s big I’d say 9lb” WHAT I thought she was joking! After all the talk of having a tiny baby and me only being a 7st size 6… He replied “nooo I’d say 8,12” and my son weighed 8lb11oz. Wow. No wonder it wasn’t easy! The midwife couldn’t even fit a newborn hat on his head and had to go fetch another. I was absolutely exhausted so my mum gave him his first bottle for me and then my dad appeared. I’ll never forget him walking across the room and welling up at the sight of his first grandchild. I was absolutely devastated that his daddy had missed this and came so close to potentially losing us both. I messaged him straight away simply; ‘you’re a dad x’.
youandiandtheskittle 